‘Broken so many times, God uses me for lessons’- Ijeoma Umebinyuo
When I was 16 in my first year in university, someone’s boyfriend leaked her nudes. This had nothing to do with me but her face was cropped off in the picture and we had similar body types. Another person opened a twitter account and said I was the person in the picture and people came for me terribly.
I got called every derogatory name you can think of, when I’ll pass people they’ll whip out their phones to compare me to the person in the picture, one time that stood out for me was going to the Atm with my friend and boys cursing me out-slut, hoe, olosho, you name it. My friend was shaking and crying. She couldn’t believe that was my reality. She asked how I coped with the stigma and criticism- I was just focused on getting my money so I could buy suya tbh and relax😂😂. I responded ‘I’ve just learnt to block out the noise’.
I had an employer years ago who will yell at everyone including me, say peak cruel things but I never seemed phased, not because they didn’t bother me but because I figured out how to block out his ‘noise’, focus on my work and do the best work I could. Working under him was incredibly toxic, he was loud and mean.
Unfair and cruel things will happen to you, but you must raise your head high, and block out the noise. It’s not easy but it’s what you must do. People can be cruel, but you must keep a safe space within yourself for yourself. You must love yourself regardless of the names you’ve been called, the trauma you’ve survived, the hurt you’ve endured. You must look darkness in the eye and tell it, you did not win.
You don’t have to be strong, give yourself the grace to fall apart, be hurt, cry, grieve, mourn but stand back up. You must not cut yourself. You don’t have a bad life, you’re more powerful than you give yourself credit for and sometimes rock bottom is the perfect place for rebuilding.
I was 16 dealing with slut shaming at it’s finest and even though I cried and broke down a lot, I held my head high and thrived, even bagged a 4.4GPA for some razzle dazzle😂.
There are many times in my life when I could have thrown in the towel, many times when I was on the floor but it doesn’t matter how many times I’ve been on the floor, I pick myself up and dust myself down.
When I go through terrible experiences, I think about that phase and how I survived it. You can too baby, you can. Be kind to yourself💕
Your favorite neighborhood slay queen