I think about my younger self a lot, sometimes I laugh when I remember her, other times I cringeeeee when I remember all the dumb things I did(I still do dumb things lmaooo)…. anyways I figured I’ll send her a letter or something, hopefully someone reads it and it helps.
- BOUNDARIES PRINCESS, BOUNDARIES: Since I was a little girl, my mum always told me ‘Yommie, what you won’t take as a wealthy man, don’t accept it now’, it’s actually a yoruba proverb but I never really understood what it meant up until this year I used to take so much rubbish, disrespect and bullying from people. I don’t blame them tbh, I never really had any standards set for myself… I just sorta went with the flow. Boys will talk to me reckless, friends will be on some bullshit but I just never really spoke. Ugh baby Yoms, trust me you no too deserve half the trash you went through.2) YOUR LOOKS DON’T DEFINE YOU: quick story- I was in a 3 year long relationship(how time flies) anyways, that was my first proper introduction to love and relationships and it was so messed up. I got cheated on all the time guys, haha looking back I really cant believe I disrespected myself so much. I would get lied to, I even caught him cheating red handed and I just went on with the relationship. My self esteem was rubbish, I felt I somehow deserved the bad treatment, I felt like the girls he was cheating with were prettier and curvier than me, Idk guys I just felt like I would never ever find anyone to like me again so I stayed(a shame). Oh well it took a lot for me to gain confidence, work on myself and my insecurities and tings…. bottomline, baby self-love is the ultimate and purest form of love. Ain’t nobody gonn’ love you right if you don’t love yourself. Tall, short, fat, skinny, lightskinned, darksinned whatever you’re deserving of healthy love and respect.
3) In SS1 you wanted to be an aeronautics engineer then you changed to petrochemical engineer loooooool sis, your result will come out and my dear you got 5F’s o- further maths, physics, chemistry, geography and hausa (huhuhu), mummy still believed in you tho and asked you to try harder after giving you the abara(mighty slap) of life in the car on the way home. You entered school second term and quietly carried your chair and table to social science class, dashed your science books out and moved on with life… best part is you came first that term, science was just not your thing but you’re a brilliant babe. Proud of you my sweet love.
4) That your lebe(full lips) that people mocked that year, whiunnnnnnn, girl that’s what people are doing surgery to get o, no too stress yourself, everything is just timing, your slay queen period is coming okrrrr??
5) DO NOT JOKE WITH EATING HEALTHY: Yum Yum, stop wasting your cash doylar on all this weight loss teas, purgatives, weight loss pills, tying your stomach and all those shenanigans you were up to dear. Just eat healthy and exercise, eventually you’ll lose all that weight but its not through all this things you’re consuming, you simply have tolearn to eat right. And guess what?? The acne/pimples will disappear and you’ll be a healthier version of yourself. Please stop buying all those cheap body creams and trying to ‘tone’ your skin… anyway Aramide will snitch you and mummy will cease everything and buy you cocoa burra.
6) SHOW UP: A huge part of this adulting thing(which you are still figuring out) is showing up, show up for your family, call them regularly, hug your grandma, let your cousins hang with you, go to your friends events, go for their birthday parries, attend their weddings and family get togethers, attend their photoshoots, help them bake, post their businesses… just be a stable support system not an emotional dumping ground for your family and friends, these things go such a loooong way.
7) MEN HMMM… my darling just put yourself together o cos these men toh, you’ll break hearts and people will break your own heart too(such is life). I know you thought the peak of heartbreak was when Dozie cheated on you in SS3, shior my dear that time you were just learning. Just focus on yourself, your dreams and goals, and no you didn’t get married at 20 sweetheart.
Oh well, I’m proud of you and the queen you’re fast becoming, you are flourishing and I love it, please do not change for anyone or anything. God is doing big tings in your life and I’m rooting for you. Impressed by how you turn your pain to power sis. I love you all and I hope yu learn to love yourself at an earlier age than I did.
Your friendly neighborhood slay queen;